Julie Ferman

Single and OK with it!
by Julie Ferman
Growing, growing, growing is the single population in the U.S. And many of us are staying solo by choice. Indeed, in my opinion, today’s the best time ever to be single. There is such a variety of lifestyle options considered socially acceptable today, which to my mom and yours would likely have seemed just plain radical. Today we find women and men adopting kiddos on their own in their 40’s and beyond, we find love-struck seniors and same-sex couples shacking up together with naked ring fingers, and you know what? It’s all OK…

Women don’t NEED men to protect and provide for us to the extent we did in decades prior, our earning power is on the rise, and alter-phobia mounts for both sexes as we witness divorce after divorce, and the ensuing trails of legal, financial, and emotional anguish. In contemplating recent census reports, which indicate significant upward trends in single population, my hunch was that today’s singles have just as much desire to love and to be loved, but the FORM of that desired love might be changing with the times. So…I crunched some numbers to see what our dating service statistics would reveal.

As the owner of three dating services since 1990, I’ve seen over 10,000 singles come through my doors and have been keeping track of my new clients' responses to this question, "What kind of relationship do you desire?" In comparing stats from new member registration forms at our dating services from 1993, 1997, and 2003, we seea clear trend among clients demonstrating a greater comfort level with independent living.

Desired Relationship Goal among adults joining my dating services (ages 30-60):

Those whose primary goal was marriage dipped from 42% in 1993 to 33% in 2003
Those wanting an exclusive relationship decreased from 42% to 37%
Those seeking casual dating? On the rise, from 9% to 17%
Those interested in friendship only - also on the rise, from 7% to 13% over the same ten year period.

My goal as a matchmaker and dating industry consultant is to help single people enjoy life to the fullest, and to enable those who are seeking relationship to find each other through a dignified and enriching process. The tools and resources available to single people in today’s world make it simpler than ever to connect with others who have similar life plans, activities, and passions.

The good news – you get to choose the form of your future love relationships…it’s all OK.

Julie Ferman is a matchmaker, dating industry consultant, media personality, and speaker. Responsible for over 1,000 marriages. Online registration is private and free. Julie Ferman offers personal search services by invitation, dating coaching, seminars, and social events.


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