Julie Ferman

Long Distance Dating
by Julie Ferman

If you are interested in expanding your social circle, having some quality dating experiences, or if your end-goal is partnership, then yes, include the possibility that there are truly fabulous people all over the planet who can enrich your life and visa versa.

In the absence of Mr. or Ms. Perfect living next door, keep your romantic options open by stretching your geographical preferences to include those who fit all of your other critical criteria. The long-distance candidate is likely a better fit for the back burner or the periphery of your romantic possibilities arena, but I suggest keeping a burner open for the scrumptious but faraway logistically.

Is it more challenging and less convenient to pursue a friendship or potential romance with a long-distance candidate? Yep. So what to do is, relax and keep things light; resist the temptation to get serious or single-focused on this person, because a future between the two of you is more of a long shot than a slam-dunk. Entertain the possibility of a romantic connection with this person as ONE of your many options. Don’t dismiss it as an impossible situation either – just explore the possibility of friendship for starters and keep things light and warm between you. Time will reveal if it’s a connection worth developing or dissolving…

How to explore this new possibility? Email, phone (investigate free long-distance calling solutions), webcam conversations, and old fashioned letter writing – whch can be so sweet.

One of the happiest couples I know met online across the country – Jackie was in Portland, Oregon and Mike was in Ft. Lauderdale. They started as friends, without expectation, and began gently touching each other through emails, amusing each other with their dating stories. A couple of months later their email exchanges had evolved into phone conversations. The two courted each other romantically for months before meeting. By the time they actually locked eyes, they had a foundation of trust, deep respect and appreciation for each other, and they describe the romance and attraction to be merely the icing on the cake which they’d already baked…

So, yes, keep the notion of long-distance love as a possibility – one of many options open to you. Don’t get serious quickly, don’t spend a lot of money or time or energy on it early on, relax and see what evolves.

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