Julie Ferman

The BUSY Factor
by Julie Ferman

This "I'm so busy" issue would be comical if it weren’t so troubling and saddening. Both women and men are coming to me plenty upset about this problem, whining and complaining, and often just plan mad. (By the way, anger isn’t alluring or sexy…and we’ll all be wise to continue developing our own personal ability to express ourselves with respect, courtesy, and compassion for the person to whom and about whom we’re kvetching!)

I often joke about how in my next lifetime (of course I will be returning as a matchmaker, as I truly do love this work) I will be equipped with better tools; the most powerful of which will be my magic wand, enabling me to instantly clear not only calendars but freeways and cheap airplane seats to make first dates happen effortlessly and magically for my clients.

Short of having this magic wand, I do have my keyboard and an audience of well…whomever is reading this…whom I will assume has a sincere desire for connecting deeply in love and romance with another human being…who might just be reading this message at the same time. Wow. That’s a fun thought…

Here’s the problem that has me up writing at 4AM on a Sunday morning. Whereas there are other dating agencies out there doing some pretty effective blind date matchmaking for the type of person who doesn’t have and really needs a social life, the types of people I typically have as Julie Ferman clients are those who are more of the

fabulous” variety; highly desirable, accomplished, world-by-the-tail men and women who have it all – and they each have a lot happening in their lives. And yet with all their gorgeousness and all the amazing career success, material goodies, and all the fascinating activities they have in their lives, the one thing they don’t have is a partner with whom to share it all; so they come to me with hope, sincerity, and credit card in hand, looking for that missing piece. And they ask me to and expect me to…FIX IT.

Fabulous Jack and Fabulous Jill both fall into my lap, seeking help connecting with that counterpart who is their equal in incredibleness and gorgeousness. And so I jump in to do my job. Sparing no effort or expense, I recruit, interview, photograph, contemplate and line up the candidates, presenting Jack and Jill to each other for study, reflection, and selection. The state of the industry technology I’ve developed enables me to do this for my oh-so-busy clients in such an easy, simple, and effective fashion that no matter where they are on the planet, he and she can pop online anytime and make decisions about who makes the cut…and who doesn’t. Easier than pie. I know this, because I’ve made lots of matches and I’ve made plenty of pies.

Except now we have the breakdown. Jack and Jill have both said Yes to meeting each other. They’re equally fabulous, and of course they both know it, and they’re both accustomed to getting what they want when and how they want it. And if getting in touch, making contact, and arranging a first date is not easy and simple and fun (or if it’s not on their terms…) what’s happening repeatedly is, Jack or Jill or both are getting frustrated and will tend to want to move on to some other tantalizing activity or person, thereby missing the opportunity to connect with this other delicious person entirely.

And so it goes, week by week, month by month, year-end after year-end. And on January 1 of this upcoming new year, so many of these truly extraordinary single people will still be single, not in love, and they’ll all be wondering what went wrong and some of them will be asking me why I’ve failed them...

Today's highly accomplished single people are filling their lives with so much delicious activity that they often miss the opportunity to connect with the very people who might "be" their future. It's a forest and the trees situation.

What's amazing to me is how much the BUSY FACTOR has become a real issue with dati

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